My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, "A Few Figs from Thistles", US poet (1892 - 1950)

Friday, 22 June 2007

A Lady of Letters

Josephine is seething. So much so that she feels moved to Write A Letter. Yes, tomorrow morning bright and early she is going to sit raging in her overcoat and pearls and give what-for! Josephine objects to being dealt with by a trained monkey or a machine when she calls a Customer Service Helpline to speak to a real, live, reasoning person. One wonders if the introduction of Prison Video Links will one day be augmented by Interactive Voice Response Systems.

"You are charged with an offence under s.66 of The Sexual Offences Act 2003. How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty."

"Thank you. I'm showing you pleaded guilty to a charge of aggravated criminal damage under s.1(2) of the Criminal Damage Act 1971 is that correct...?"


Anonymous said...

Give 'em hell!

Bloody monkeys.

Josephine Bloggs said...

Well quite.

"To speak to the Organ Grinder press 4..."

Of course, there never is that option, is there?